The Family Friend...or Friend Who was Family

This past weekend we gathered as a deHaan family (Tanya's mom's side) and laid to rest our dear Uncle Andrew. Well, that's what we called him. He wasn't REALLY related to us. There were no actual genes passed between any of us, yet to us he was family, and to him we were the only family he had in North America.

Here is the providential story as told during the memorial service (with a few personal additions).

Andrew was born in Rotterdam, Holland on October 3, 1915. His father Andries Kok was a carpenter, and his mother was Catharina (de Radder). He had two sisters, Cornelia who was one year older, and Lenie who was ten years younger. He had two nieces, Tineke and Ineke, and two nephews, Kees and Dick. When Andrew finished school he went to a trade school to become a carpenter like his father.

During World War 2, at age 27, Andrew was picked up by the Germans and sent to work in a labour camp in France. The Germans used forced labour to build defensive installations as a defense against the Allies. At the labour camp Andrew had his teeth smashed by a German guard for giving an answer the soldier didn’t like. He also had his knee hit by a guard, causing and injury that bothered him all his life. He was determined to escape the camp. His chance came during an allied bombing of the camp. At these times the guards would leave their posts and hide. Prisoners would use this as an opportunity to escape, but it was risky and any prisoners who would try to escape and were caught would be severely punished. Andrew escaped with six other men. They traveled by night, using night vision binoculars. Alternately two men would walk up front, while the others followed behind. This was done so that if the two in front were caught, the others might be able to escape. During the day they would hide anywhere to avoid detection and sleep. They traveled through Belgium and were helped by a postman to avoid the German troops at the Dutch border.

Once Andrew arrived in Rotterdam his mother gave him food and asked how long he was going to stay. He said he would stay one night, and then he would head north because it was not safe for him to stay. His mother asked Gre, a boarder, to take him away to Friesland. From Rotterdam Andrew took the train to Friesland, and avoided the German guards at the station by exiting the train on the wrong side.

In Friesland Andrew went to a church where the minister told him it was not safe to stay in that particular area because he didn’t know the language. The minister brought him to a home where his friend Marinus Sneep was staying. They were unable to take him in there, and sent him to the home of Riendert and Tettje Lont in St.Annaparochie, where he stayed until the end of the war. (The Lont's are my Great Aunt and Uncle, the sister of my grandfather). The Lont’s also had two sons who were hiding from the Germans. Here they had a trap door in the floor, under a carpet, so they could hide when the Germans came to search the home.

One day when the family was at church, Andrew and his friend Marinus where at home looking after a child. They were sitting playing chess by the front window. Two German soldiers came by the window and stopped to watch. The men didn’t know what to do, so they kept playing. After awhile, one of the soldiers tapped the window. The soldier indicated to Marinus that he had made a bad move and wanted him to change it. Finally, the soldiers continued on their way. Some of the Germans were “good”, and by God’s grace they did not arrest these two escapees.

After the war Andrew returned to Rotterdam. On May 18, 1948, he boarded the Tabinta to immigrate to Canada. He settled in Newmarket with his friend Marinus Sneep’s family. Together they started a private company called Sneep & Cook Contractors to build homes. In 1951 Andrew learned that Bindert and Tina deHaan (my grandparents) had immigrated to Canada and lived in Stevensville. Providentially Andrew met the deHaan family while touring the Niagara Falls area; quite literally bumped into them while viewing the Falls.

Because of the war year bond with the Lont’s, he visited the deHaans frequently and soon plans were made for Andrew to find local work. He got a job working as a carpenter for Lawrence Beam, a local contractor. He assisted the deHaan family in building their home, and moved in with them in 1956. Living with Bindert and Tina and their five children, he quickly became “our very special Uncle Andrew.”

Andrew was a master at his carpenter trade and used his talents generously for many friends, neighbours, and family, as well as Marantha Church and Calvin Christian School. All who met him appreciated his gracious example of helping out wherever he could.

Andrew loved to travel and made at least 19 trips to visit his family in Holland, his last visit was in 2003. He also traveled several times to New Zealand to visit his former employer whom he had worked for in Holland. He loved New Zealand.

In the early 1980’s, Andrew moved to Sunset Homes in St.Catharines, where he lived across the hall from my now widowed grandmother. They were great companions for each other, and whenever she would come to visit us, Uncle Andrew would come too.

He never talked about the war, but refused to eat poultry, and hated the smell of cauliflower. He had had his share of them in the work camp. We always made ham along side the Christmas turkey.

He took his role of "Uncle" to us seriously and always sent birthday cards. He was in Holland shortly after Brent was born and was sure to pick up an outfit for him. "Something practical for the country" I can still here him tell me the story of his shopping adventure. The fruit of his labour: a pair of khaki overalls.

After suffering a small stroke, in 2003 he moved to Niagara Arms, and later the Henley House. It really bothered him that no one gave thanks to the Lord for their meals. In April of 2004, prayers were answered when Andrew moved into Shalom Manor where he could live out his life in a Christian environment. Moving in during the construction phase only added further interest. Uncle Andrew was one resident that was very happy to walk through the hall with the plywood floor. He would say, “Just go down the hall with “Het houten vloer” and turn left to my room.

The only pastor who knew some of our family and Uncle Andrew was on holidays, so the chaplain from Shalom conducted the service. We asked him to stop referring to him as Mr. Kok and to please call him Uncle Andrew. He still didn't quite get the depth of the relationship, and addressed us several times during the service as "Friends." As the afternoon progressed, and he experienced our love, he finally got it right when he announced that a "FAMILY member" would read the last bible passage.

Family he was.